We often talk about participatory events, and event formats that not only bring people together, but also encourage people to share, connect on ideas, experiences, activities. We organize the online Parts Work Unconference according to those principles.
Another of our long standing projects is the Relationship Cookbook, a 90 minutes unconference-lite event, mostly oriented at sharing techniques (“recipes”) on how to make relationship works. Usually romantic relationships. At times inner relationships, at times relationships with something else (we had one about finances, and one about insomnia).
Alex started hosting it in 2013, and it was regularly happening in Berlin, where he lived, until 2020. We moved it online during the lockdowns, finding ways to make the magic happen via Zoom (it took a while)…
After the lockdowns, our hunger for online events faded, but before we could really start hosting in person cookbooks regularly, we both started being quite nomadic, based far away from people, or both.
We happen to be in London now, for a while, and we are hosting an in person Relationship Cookbook the coming Sunday, the 5th of October.
Come if you are in London. It’s free, even if donations for the location will be welcome.
What’s the Relationship Cookbook?
The Cookbook is a participatory event: we gather, name what matters, and exchange recipes: short, concrete practices that actually helped real relationships (romantic, friendship, teams, chosen family).
Or, at times, questions.
Or doubts.
But we always keep it personal, and practical.
It is not group therapy, even if realizing that “it is not that I am broken, it is that this is hard and no one has a solution” helps. For sure, it is not not advice coming from someone on a pedestal.
It’s peers learning from peers, scaffolded by facilitation: time-boxing, gentle hand signals, rounds, crisp prompts.
Enough structure to feel safe; enough looseness to stay alive.
It’s not IFS, though it’s IFS-friendly (since we host it).
We stay parts-aware and curious. We don’t pathologize. We notice “who in me is speaking,” and we keep it practical: What did you try? What did it change? How could someone else try it tomorrow?
The structure comes out like this:
Name a live question that matters.
Hear 2–3 tested “recipes” (what worked / didn’t).
or a conversation about the topic
When it clicks, the room becomes a cooperative: people co-making value for one another, sharing sense-making.
That’s the point.
London session
Meet us in person!
If you’re in London and want to meet us in person, join our next Relationship Cookbook session. Semi-structured, playful, results-oriented.
This is not IFS, though IFS-friendly.
We share recipes for making relationships work.
If there’s interest, we’ll host a follow-up “Inner Relationships” edition (parts work for your inner team).
Details & RSVP: luma.com/i2xa4tgp
Venue: Newspeak House (Bethnal Green)
Flow: Doors 18:00 · Start 18:30 · Social ~20:00
How much: Free, donation for Newspeak House welcome
More about the project:
Bring: yourself.
Optionally: a friend, a question you care about, a snack, a drink.
See you there.
I'm based in London! I'm only just seeing this now, but would love to hear about future events.