Lifemapping: Mindmapping meets IFS Parts Mapping

A simple yet powerful tool to get to know your own system

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I have a bias for “doing things on my own”. 

This means, when I discovered IFS, I did a lot of it on my own.

Also, my bias is in having personal practices: I learned my favorite yoga series (ashtanga vinyasa, mostly), then I did them on my own. I learned to meditate, then I meditated, not go to classes. I learned Focusing, and then I practiced Focusing.

The trouble with doing IFS on your own

One problem of doing IFS or parts work on our own is that it is hard to know when we are blended. Many managers ¹², and above all “Self-like” managers, tend to feel like us, and they tend to be the ones making us do practices: they like routines, checklists, solving problems, being on top of things.

At least mine do.

So you can end up trying to talk to other parts of yourself from parts that want to fix them.
They're not Self.

It does not work very well. These parts mean well, they tend to have an agenda (fixing, being better, healing), and do not have all the tools since they are not the whole system, they are parts.

Mindmapping

A technique I found useful i using mindmapping to explore a topic, letting voices, images, comments arise, writing them down, and then waiting for more.

It is actually “very simple”, and I hope the example will make it even clearer. If you want an overview, you find it at the end of the page.

1) choose a topic, and put it at the center of a page

We start from a topic, a situation, a problem, an issue, a decision, a conflict.
A something.
(It is hard to start from “nothing”, because trying to show our own mind in itself is a very good way not to find it, as a Zen Koan puts it)

As a purely hypothetical case, let’s say the topic is “committing to writing a post every week” (“for a few weeks” a part very quickly pointed out, we will come to this soon).
OK, it is is not hypothetical: this is from my own system. I’ve struggled writing regularly online³ since the mid 2000s. (Wow, that’s almost 20 years.) In the last few weeks, I’ve posted here once a week, and I am curious to see if this could become routine.

Take a piece of paper, and write the topic, the issue, the thing at the center.
(You can use a mindmapping software. I personally prefer pen and paper)

An example: “writing a post every week”:

(please note I’ve some shyness about my handwriting. It works for me. I can re-read it. Mostly)

2) notice voices/parts/sensations that emerge, write them down, connect them

Now, generally, some parts will speak up.
See above: “for a few weeks” was very clear. I add that, then wait, or ask “how come?” and see what happens.
I also hear “that will be hard”. I connect that to the center statement.

“I failed before”, this connects to the center.

“What if people won’t like it?”, this connects to the center too.

“I like writing” connects to the center, and a part comments right away “sometimes” that now I connect to “I like writing”. A(nother?) voice comments “I mostly love having written”. This feels still connected to that.

“It will save time if I can point people to articles”, this seems independent, so I connect it to the center topic. “It happened in the past” is connected to this last one. “I wrote about that” feels good to say, I will add it straight there.

Every time something comes up, write it down. Briefly check if it is a reply, an addition to something already written, or if it stands by itself.

If two thoughts arrive almost at once, well, try to write them separately. If too much is happening, try asking our parts to give some space, reassure them you get to listen to everyone.

And then stop, and wait.

Ask “what else?”

3) when it starts to slow down, focus on what already emerged and inquire, explore, offer curiosity

When things start stopping, you can start asking “what about this?” about different notes.

“What about failing? What is so bad about that?”
Something will come up.
“What if I don’t fail?” or “What would failing mean?”
When you ask about a note, generally connect the replies to that note, unless it feels clear they belong somewhere else.

You can also check what things connect with each other. If feels correct, you can put them together (in my case “it brings clarity” is both directly connected, and then connected to what I like of writing).

I also check the whole map, if anything connects to anything else now, if there is any overlooked connection.
At times, it bring long distance connections, at times, you will need to find ways to bring a connection from one side to the other, passing some existing ones without actually touching them.
It can get a bit messy: see what could work for you, if using colors, if marking a bypass, if re-drawing the map. I have experimented with all of them at different times. ⁴

Sooner or later, it feels done.

Let’s wait a bit longer. Try asking “Is it done? Nothing else?”: often something emerges then.

Check that no part is trying to cut it short, before “the real issue” emerges. Or allow them to cut short, and maybe bookmark exploring the issue.

Always notice what emerges as you write something. Relief? Resistance? Shame? Disgust? Excitement? Clarity? Confusion, “where is that coming from?”.
Maybe some feelings are tender and vulnerable. Maybe some parts go “no, you cannot write/feel/think that”. See if it is OK to write that down.

Remember that no one has to see this. You can burn the paper after using it, if you want.
This is just for you, and your parts.

After a while, the process really feels done, or we feel we are done.

Nothing else to add that is not similar to what we already added.

(In many cases, you will need to find an ending: when you look at what’s written, some part will reply, connect, etc. It can keep on going for what can feel like forever. I almost always realize I need a bigger paper, no matter how big of a paper I start with. Go on as long as it feels fine, is useful, or fun. You can always come back to it, it is on paper after all. ⁵)

4) now look at it, see if you notice the different parts.

Maybe take a colored pen, or just a pencil, and see if you can connect parts, groups, in clusters.

There could be a hopeful one. A good student one. A defeated one. A protective one. A criticizing one. A “what’s the point” one. Or anything else.

Check if it makes sense to those parts.
Check if you feel clarity and space, or if it feels like you are pushing for clarity, like trying to cram a square peg in a round hole.
Insight and clarity feel light. When parts feel seen and recognized, we generally feel lighter.

Do a few more rounds, checking if everyone feels seen and involved. Check if there is any part not waiting to be part of some other part’s team, or someone feeling left out.

(Yes, it is similar to working with children, or many adults, we just do it inside).

Maybe ask if there is any name that emerges.
See if you notice the parts that wrote/said different things. Feel them. See them. Hear them.

In my case, I notice the child that really, really loved writing, and reading (and even writing poetry).
I notice parts older than him, the ones that had to learn to do it right, or got self conscious. I feel the ones that got viciously attacked online, I feel the one that got really hurt by a teacher that had very clear (and wrong) ideas about grammar, that very clearly did not agree with my use of grammar. ⁶

If you have done IFS or parts work before, check if there is anyone you recognize, anything new, or maybe new aspects of some part you already met.

Thank everyone for showing up, and to allow everyone else to show up.

Offer comfort, understanding, compassion, if you feel it. Smile at (or with) the ones that are feisty and happy and enthusiastic. Check what the ones protective and critical could need, if anything.
(I did this with some of the parts noted above. I will stay with them, explore some redos, and show where we are in life now)

5) if you feel clearer, more spacious, quieter: appreciate it, notice it, share it with your own parts.

Thank again the parts that allowed this to happen.
See if they need anything.
See if there is any part that was hiding, that NOW wants to come out.

And see what happens. Maybe some ideas emerge.

(You can do again the process with “what to do about X” or “how to do X”. This example is just about mapping a situation, even if often some solutions and actions and ideas just show up by themselves).

The whole process:

1. choose a topic, put it at the center

2. notice voices/parts/sensations that emerge, write them down
   either connected to the central topic, or to other topics that emerged

3. when it starts to slow down, focus on what already emerged and inquiry, explore, offer curiosity
   what about this? what else? what about these two?
   Proceed until it feels complete, or find an ending

4. look at the whole picture, see if you notice parts, clusters, if memories or insights emerge.
   Maybe what to do. Maybe reasons. Maybe something else.
   Offer curiosity, and give it some time.
   4b - you could feel the desire to go back to (2) or (3) after this step.
   If you have time and feel like it, keep on adding what emerges.

5. once done, if you feel clearer, more spacious, share it with the whole system, with the parts that allowed it.
   Thank everyone for allowing the process to happen.
   Check if anyone needs anything else, or need anything from you in the future.

And then you’re done.

If you try this, let us know how it works for you.

As usual, if you want support with this, or are curious to work with us, you can always book a session with one of us.

Possible variations to try:

• orient the paper or the map. As an example, I will at times list the parts/thoughts in favor for something on the top, and the ones against on the bottom, and the neutral ones at the sides. Other times, I oriented passive on the left, and active on the right.

  • more than one direction often became messy for me

  • I generally try to start with “for it” up and “against it” down, but the replies get messy very quickly (see above).
    It can be a good way to start.

• you can do it with post-its, so that you can move parts around. It can be fun to do on a wall

• digital systems could make some things easier (moving things around, editing).
  My background is as a computer engineer, and I prefer to use pen and paper.
  It is a long story (not the interesting kind).

1. one day we will write our own introductions to IFS. For this discussion, our mental system has parts: protectors are the one facing outside, either managing, following rules, organizing life (called managers), or reacting to things and emergencies, real or imagined (called firefighters).

It is possible to see one group as a more rational, uptight group, and the other as the more emotional, reactive, rebellious one.

And then we have exiles 2, inner children, parts of ourselves that got wounded usually early on, when it was too much to cope, and got pushed out of our conscious mind (but not out of the system, it doesn’t work).

The protectors are there to protect them. Only, often, they will do it by keeping them in jail (“out of harm”) or hurting them (“so that others don’t”).
Also, protectors will often disagree on how to do their job, or think we are still stuck at a younger age.

And then there is what we are that is not parts. The heart of hearts, the wise heart/mind. It is called Self in IFS. 

The Integral Guide has much, much more about this.

2. I, Alex, have some issues about the naming, but for now, let’s keep it the original way

3. my paper notebooks are full of writing

4. Of course, a digital tool could be better while editing. If I could think with a digital tool that would work, but I don’t seem to be able to think open end with one: they are for editing, details, tinkering, not open exploration. Maybe one day I will be good with Miro and that will help. Maybe. Use Miro or other tools if you feel comfortable with them. Everybody can use pencil and paper, though

5. Or digital

6. I have always been called by writing the way you speak. He liked Latin inspired very formal writing. Not a good match. He had the power, and used it.